I know I'm no pro, but here are my observations of 2.5 years experience.
Well news flash. Marriage is HARD. Freakin' hard. But worth it. Very very worth it.
When in the engaged and newlywed stages of life, you never in a million years would imagine it possible to feel so extremely frustrated with your spouse. You wouldn't think it possible to be so sad when married to your one and only true love.
Well again I tell you, marriage is hard. And again I tell you, worth it. Marriage is well worth every tear, frustration, misunderstanding, rude thing said, rude thing taken back, and forgiven.
One of the biggest things I have learned being married is that IT WILL BE OK. Sometimes in the heat of an argument it seems like all is wrong in the world and things will be hard to mend. Then an hour later you're hugging each other, in love all over again, and reminded that you're always there for each other.
In marriage, one moment your spouse will be your biggest frustration, and the next moment your biggest support and comfort. It's a beautiful thing.
You have to somehow make all of your life habits, hobbies, desires, likes, interests, theories, beliefs, strategies, and biggest of all, your changes, work together.
Derek is a pretty different person from who I married two years ago. Then again, so am I. We have both changed. So much. And thank goodness for that. I would hope that we continue to change. And we make our changes work out and blend for the better.
It is the most beautiful thing to me that someone can see your worst side in everything and continue to love you more than anyone in the world. Cherish you more than anything in the world.
Marriage is beautiful. It's perfect in it's imperfections.
You both work harder than you've ever worked at something. If you both support each other's weaknesses and love through low and lazy times. I've never had to ask for forgiveness or forgive more in my life.
I was watching Ellen the other day and Pink was her guest. Ellen asked if she was happily married. Pink responded with, "I'm married. And I'm happy a lot of the time." I don't want to say too much about this other than I LOVED it.
I feel that the world (specifically the mormon world) is given this misconception of how easy and happy life is after marriage. That life is just blissful and happy as long as you are married and have babies.
Life is awesome. But I'm here to be honest with you and tell you that life is blissful and happy, a lot of the time. But there will be hard times. Like really hard. There will be late nights of hurt and hard feelings. Late nights of tears and sadness, hopefully ending in hugs and love.
I believe in not going to bed until you've worked things out. A lot of people say go to sleep and work it out in the morning, but then the problem is that I can't sleep. Derek can sleep just fine, but I'll stay up all night sad and frustrated. And then there usually isn't time in the morning. And you have stinky breath so you can't kiss and snuggle at the end of it all quite as comfortably. :)
I don't believe that I love you's and thank you's and I appreciate you's can be said enough. We tell each other those things many times a day. It's a good reminder not just to the other person, but to yourself as well.
|Laugh it off. It's likely that you'll do dumb and vulnerable things. Be able to laugh at each other and yourself.|
|Continue to flirt. In public too. We're huge fans of PDA. To a certain extent of course.|
|You'll learn to be able to communicate without saying a single word. We can have full conversations with nothing said sometimes. Utilize this. It's quite efficient. And a good way to stay connected around lots of people.|
|Share hobbies and common interests. Find something to share. Such as music, running, a TV show, etc.|
|Have a sense of humor. Be silly.|
|Allow yourself to love and be loved deeper than ever before.|
The moral of the post is that marriage is real. Marriage is hard. Marriage is exhausting. Marriage is beautiful. Marriage is worth it.
Any other tips or advice?