Russian spy kisses

I was jogging yesterday, yes I was jogging. I am starting to enjoy it and I'm so thrilled! I ran passed an elderly lady waving at cars and standing uncomfortably close to a busy street. I stopped to ask if I could help her.

She replied in a flustered russian accent telling me she was just getting her hair cut and needed help getting to her apartment because she was in too much pain to walk.

I found her on 700 E 700 S. She told me she lived at 300 W 200 S. If you don't know, this is very far to walk to get a 5$ haircut. It's at least a couple miles.

I called Derek to request he come pick us up so we could help her. Well, as many know, he is smarter than I am when it comes to the whole "be safe rather than sorry" thing.

She kept kissing me, ALL OVER (up my arms, my neck, my cheeks, etc.) telling me she loved me, holding me so I couldn't be more than 3 inches away from her, grabbing my "heart" and saying I have a good heart. Yipes!!

This is practically her twin. She looked just like this, but with shorter hair...hence the haircut.

It took everything to accept her affection as just Russian affection (I could have sworn they were the opposite of kissy) and to continue trying to get help. I usually love other cultures that show love, but this was a bit too much.

Her story: she came to America alone. Her husband is a dentist in Russia so he couldn't join her (her teeth were...well let's just say I would have guessed her husband runs a candy shop and that's all they eat), her son is a professor at the University of Utah but is doing a project in Russia. She had no money cause she only "volunteers for a Children's Garden to serve our country, and your people should serve me".

Derek was getting more and more worried when my phone cut out and I wasn't answering. He loaded the gun, which is something that should have been done long ago because of managing experiences. She spoke english very well, but pretended to not understand any prying questions I asked, such as: Why are you in America, why did you come so far to just get a haircut, how did you get this far if you are in so much pain?

She had me ask an Asian couple coming out of the oriental food market to give her a ride. They felt uncomfortable. They left. She was so angry because her people were helping their people in Japan from the earthquake/tsunami. I'm not so sure they were Japanese... Haha.

She kept doing the Catholic cross: touch your head, chest, shoulder, shoulder maneuver. She would do it to herself, then on me and chant something in Russian.

20 minutes later, I ended up leaving her with, "If I had a car, I'd give you a ride. I'm very sorry. Good luck." I jogged away with "I love you Amanda, God bless you, I love you, I love you!" being shouted at me along with Russian whatevers. I was just waiting to get shot in the back of the head. I didn't feel good. I was scared.

I would normally feel terrible about just leaving a poor old lady behind, but I didn't because I felt so yucky about the whole situation. I am happy to say, I'm alive and well. Ok, maybe that statement is a bit dramatic, but really, shouldn't we all be happy we're alive and well?

Moral of the story: It's good to try to help people, but don't? Jk, I'm not sure what the moral is. Just a crazy experience to laugh about....now.

1 comment:

  1. The moral is follow your gut! My hubby and I ran into a white guy with a broken finger while in Peru. He claimed that he was robbed and all his paperwork had been stolen so he couldn't get help. We got a sick feeling around him although he looked innocent enough. We gave him five soles, (almost two US dollars) and went on our way. He had asked for fifty soles!
    We found out later that he'd been in Peru for over ten years and uses the story to get money to feed addictions.


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...